| Mar. 17th, 2006 @ 02:04 am i know i should go, but i will probably stay |
|---|
Current Mood:  crappy
Current Music: Steamer Trunk- Alkaline Trio
so... this is gonna be kinda long.. and spans a few days
So… the continuation of…
SPRING BREAK!
I was meaning to visit Puck the hippy from the bus and he even called me to talk for a little while (I like his voice :D) but I had no energy to leave my apartment.
After sleeping almost non stop for two days, with no will to do anything except lay and breath in the sweet incense, I tried to be more productive, and eradicated the fridge of the fuzzy green things that were colonizing the tupperwear containers. I left a note to the room mates, apologizing for throwing out the tupperwear… but I really see no other way of doing it… unless they themselved wanted to wash them out.
I was still feeling rather down; i didnt actually turn in two papers that were due the wednesday of, so that has been resting heavily on my head... i am slightly worried about this, and its one of the reasons keeping me from really enjoying the break.
At first I wasnt sure if i wanted to go home... so i waited till the last minute to decided, and by that time i would have had to pay 300 dollars for one way for a flight, so i decied to take the train... then decided to take the greyhound, cus it was 10 dollars cheaper and 10 hour quicker (still 26 hours is quite the ride)
first part of my journey, i had to figure out how to get to the greyhound station which isnt in the best part of town...
i was fine with getting onto the first bus, but the second bus...i dont think actually exists... so after a good while waiting and becoming impatient and worried about the time, i asked the bus driver of one of the other passing buses how i could get to teh greyhound, and they kindly told to down a block and take a differnt bus.
(11:45 am) So, I finally reached the station, and got my 95 dollar, military discount ticket and then into line. I made eye contact with this cute boy with fantastic blue eyes, but soon looked away and back to my book and music. The Greyhound finally arrived and we bored. The boy with the eyes smiled at me as he passed. It was hot. and I didn’t think he was American.- didn’t look, didn’t act, different vibe.
I slept for the first few hours of the ride.
A different very tall boy (6'8") asked me if my name was rachel. I told him no. he then proceeded to tell me i look exactly like some one he used to know named rachel. we ate lunch at a burger king together and he would tell me about his life, abusive father, (he let me feel his head for a lump left from an injury) and video games until he got off 3 hours later. he made sure to catch my e-mail address and number before he left.
At sacremento, I had to change busses and get onto a new one. While waiting for the new bus to arrive, the boy with the fantastic eyes and his friend was ahead of me in the line. His friend some how got a hold of a cup noodle, and was spilling over himself, so I offered him a napkin. I got thanks and another smile from the boy. And we continued to trade looks and little smiles while in line.
(9pm) Grey hound had overbooked the next bus, so just as I got to the building door to give the man my ticket, instead of taking it, he counts the number of tickets already in his hand, tells me the bus is full, and closes the door on me (rather roughly i might add. he seemed cranky) . I looked out the door’s window, and the boy with the eyes is looked back from the door of the bus with a very worried look on his face. we exchanged these oddly intense looks for a good time before he entered the bus. It was such an interesting connection to someone I’d only made eye contact with and hadn’t spoken a word to yet.
After people were settled down they found that there were still 3 seats open. So I was able to get on the bus and not have to wait for the next one. Unfortunately, the seat I got was that seat next to the very fat man who overflows out of his seat into yours. Thankfully he didn’t stink. but I was unable to sleep well the whole night and almost always uncomfortable.
2AM. We take a break, and I end up talking with the boy with the eyes by the vending machines. he’s looking for gum, but cant find any. I offer him mine back in the bus. We start a good conversation that continues back into the bus before we leave again. He’s German, 20, been working in Canada for a year, and is going back home Friday. Hes soooooo cute, I want to just cuddle up with him and sleep on his shoulder on the bus. But, im still stuck next to the fat guy.
I want to take him home and keep him.
Smiles from across the bus. passing pieces of gum and pieces of our lives.
small talk on the breaks. he’s the middle child of three brothers. im the middle of three sisters, and he laughs.
In Tacoma, the bus almost leaves us as we are trying to help an old asian lady use the pay phone.
2:30 PM. In Seattle, my trip has come to an end, and we exchange e-mails and I even give him a hug. Maybe its me, but he looked so sad maybe even devastated as we gave our parting embrace.
I felt as though an epic love affair had come to an end.
His name is Adrien, he is from germany, and I want him.
So.
Im in Seattle. At the GreyHound Station, and I have to walk 20 minutes to get to the Seattle center.
I didn’t tell my parents that I was coming, But they were going to meet my sister and her friend at the space needle. So, we thought it would be a cute trick if they find me just chilling at the park like a bum.
I hurried my little ass over to the rendezvous point, and on the way some black guy in a sweater and hat tried to pick me up… wanted to go get coffee with me.
So, anyways. I get to the designated fountain, plop myself down, and start feeding seagulls Fritos. Eventually, my sister and the family pass buy… first thinking im a bum, but upon closer inspection… “OMG! ITS SUE!”
Then my camera stopped working, and that put me in a shitty mood. cus sue loves her camera
That night, sue went back to her home town… but there was no room at INN, so mary and joseph had to stay in the sable. Since sue doesn’t live at her house anymore, she had to sleep in the car with sleeping bag and blankets. Her hair was wet from a shower she took, and she was very, very, cold at 3am we she finally got around to sleeping.
Only to be woken up at 7am to go to the airport and see off her sister’s friend. Then Lunch at Todai. Walking, walking around seattle. Lots of coffee shops. Uwajimaya and more walking. Eventually getting to the UW.
This was actually a shitty day. It started alright. except for the broken camera bit, but it just kept getting worse as the day progressed. For the most part, I would like to say don’t like being home because I don’t like having to deal with my family and all the problems that bind us together. It puts me in a shitty mood.
But later that night was when i really felt like shit
I was STUPID enough to ask Lida the other day if I could stay over at her place.
Cus on the phone, in the excitement of the moment of seeing her again and maybe not sleeping in the car that night, I forgot to think about how Leo and lida had been living in the same one roomed apartment since the begging of the year.
I went to visit like I said I would. but it was really really hard on me.
I mean, I almost didn’t. Though I love lida lots…. and I wanted to see her.
It just happens to be exactly once year since I broke up with Leo. Last spring break I came home to spend time with leo, and then break it off. I almost didn’t do it… Lying in bed next to him crying cus I actually did. (I don’t think she knows that though)
I walked into her apartment and tried to be the happy little sue I am… except it was incredibly awkward for me… looking around, seeing their computers side by side… too scared to go near her bed room and see the clothes of them both on the floor… knowing that they probably slept in the same bed together. Knowing that she had every luxury that I wished I could have had with him, that I would have loved to have spent my time with him like that had college not separated the two of us. I knew I couldn’t sleep in the apartment.
Lida and I went out to eat with my sister and her friends on the Ave. Leo was sick, so he stayed in. Although avoiding the subject of Leo, every comment she uttered with “leo and I” burned like a little match struck in my heart. How they live together… do so much together… maybe its envy, maybe its traces of love. It gives me a little taste of what CJ must have gone through after I started dating Leo.
After spending a few hours out eating and drinking bubble tea, we all decide to retired. She asked me if I was staying at her place, and though I didn’t want to offend her since she seemed perfectly fine with it, I told her I couldn’t and went to sleep with my sister’s friends instead. I regret not going back to say good bye and giving Leo a hug… but at the time I was afraid I might start crying.
awkward and miserable.
and this song reminds me of leo...
So, that whole ordeal put me into a marvelously shitty mood.
And since I felt like venting, now have I a rather long journal.
*sigh*
tomorrow I will get a ride up to evertt
and then to Bellingham
were I will party party party
hopefully get fucked up
and maybe forget some of my worries.
Sometime I wish I went to the UW.
I like seattle so much more then LA
I like the people here
and I don’t feel so out of place
like I do at USC |
|  |
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=88.8){kind=small}
agent_novichok's journal
blah
tired
cranky
amused